how-to

Boundaries are one of those sticky words. Like codependency.

Are they good? Bad?

Will they make something better? Maybe it’s easier just to go with the flow. Is it worth the effort to enforce them?

Research says the people who win the most in life are the ones who treat others same as specific “others” treat them. Start out being nice, get feedback, and enforce your boundaries.

And then randomly be nice to them.

Because we are learnable pieces of modeling clay, even bullies pick up quick when we set and enforce your rules. They don’t like being treated bad, just like you don’t.

When you realize consequences are beautiful teachers, both positive and negative, life gets better and better for everybody.

So learn the easy way to stick up for yourself, and then try them out. See if they work. They just might.

Visit my ABOUT Page or LIVE M-F at 8:15 am cst on Facebook

Transform, it seems like it takes forever, doesn’t it?

It only takes a long time when we get lost in the details. Like which political pundit is in the new today.

Or why is the line so long at the gas station.

Those are the mundane things that take up our thoughts WHILE we’re transforming. You’re a great multi-tasker.

So sit back and relax, cut yourself some slack, and let yourself transform in the most graceful way possible.

And if you want to know all about me…visit my ABOUT Page or M-F on Facebook at 8:15am cst.

Depression starts with the most invisible of reasons.

I watched a youtube video today about “fake friendships”. I actually watched it and didn’t just get disgusted by the title.

Yep, I can be a little judgemental…lol.

So knowing that about myself, I decided to watch it. And it was pretty great.

It talked about boundaries and how we have a hard time setting them with friends we’re ambivalent about. And it is more stressful, and hence, depressing, to have uncertain friendships, then it is to have toxic people in your life.

So we’re stressing ourselves out because of the uncertainty of our friendships and the constant determining whether each relationship really has value or not to us.

The first step is admitting the problem. We’re depressed and stressed because we have too many ambivalent friendships and not enough meaningful ones. We don’t have a higher expectation for our lives of meaningful relationships.

And we don’t set boundaries on ourselves or others to guarantee we are the best version of ourselves possible.

Here’s how to start…

And if you want to know where I come from…visit my ABOUT PAGE or hang out LIVE on Fb, M-F 8:15am CST.

When I was a kid, I thought life is beautiful when you’re a Cosby kid. Little did I know, sitcoms and commercials were NOT reality. So I spent my life searching for the elusive perfect spouse, job, friends.

You can guess, I finally lost hope, decided life was NOT beautiful and settled for a flat and dysfunctional life.

Hmmmm…..did you know the step AFTER settling…is purposefully shaping your life to look the way you want?

Life isn’t a Cosby show, thank god, but it isn’t a flat line to nowhere either.

We all have insecurities, get angry and annoyed, have issues. All of us. The trick is to love yourself anyways…and find ways to love your life even when you and it isn’t PERFECT!

If you’re ready to live the “Beautiful Life” than hang out with today’s livestream and find your beautiful again.

If you’d like to get to know me better…visit my ABOUT PAGE or hang out with me LIVE on Facebook M-F 8:15am CST

 

Self confidence is one of those wiggly words. What does it really mean?

Are you an ego-maniac? Did you get too many participation trophies?

Or maybe when you failed or got a bad grade, you got “the talk” at the dinner table with your whole family involved.

I remember dinner time was super stressful…I never knew when I’d get “a talk” and I’d have to leave for the bathroom to cry.

Getting past those memories, forgiving them, I came to realize that self confidence is based on failing, failing, failing…until I finally figure it out and succeed.

I’ve made friends with failure, sometimes I laugh in it’s face…recklessly. I can’t tell you the number of times I thought, “this should be fine”. I’m a product of my past I guess.

If you weren’t born with or didn’t have your self confidence nurtured, then this is the video for you. It’s time to name self confidence and become the bright, beautiful flower you were meant to be.

So sit back, relax, and learn the real tricks behind self confidence. And if you feel really adventurous…do the homework.

If you want to know about my journey, visit my ABOUT PAGE or hang out with me LIVE on Facebook M-F @8:15 am CST.

We all have a criticism in our heads (and everywhere around us). To me, it sounds like the low, annoying hum of my refrigerator in my first apartment. Constant and teeth jarring.

But what if…we stopped judging those voices…and stopped getting mad at them…

What if we listened and added their perspective to the mix.

Sometimes I think the criticism is so loud so we don’t do something super reckless. Like buying illegal drugs from a man named 8 Ball. Not that is always works, of course.

Usually criticism leaves us in a puddle on the couch with some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Ben and Jerry’s please.

But if criticism isn’t necessarily bad, then we can use it to see a bigger perspective. A perspective that is inherently more dangerous if we didn’t have a little self (or other) criticism.

So sit back, open your heart, and just listen to my secret mindsets that will help you envelop your critical voice, and the voices of critical people who like to pick on you. And then, open your heart to them too.

Tired of getting your panties in a bundle? Then check me out on my ABOUT PAGE or visit me M-F 8:15am CST on Facebook.