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There are two ways a professional hostage negotiator heads off a problem with a Narcissist.

The first is “No Contact”. And the second is “Tactical Empathy”.

Guided by Rita Hickman

If you go “no contact” you set yourself up to a Narcissist’s reaction, thinking they’re betrayed or laughed at. This can make for some ugly outcomes.


You also lose the ability to influence how the conflict lands. Whether it turns into a shouting match or something softer. A Narcissist will tell people anything that makes them look better. And usually, it means they want to make you look bad. In private and in public.


In “tactical empathy”, you guide the conversation to a softer landing place. A place where you can deal with the conflict. And it also gives you the upper hand at the same time.


Tactical empathy lets you calm a situation down and get out with the least amount of damage. In most cases, it gives you the “black swan”, or the missing piece of information you need to make a difference whether a situation goes bad or goes in your favor.

If you want to find out if you’re in a Narcissistic relationship, or how to get out of a Narcissistic relationship, then you should stop by the Narcissism Recovery Library.

It’s an online library of Narcissism Recovery videos, with new Live-streams posted every day. The library is run by a program called Searchie which acts as a card catalog for 10-15 second clips of video.


It lets you search for the exact parts of the videos you’re interested in like “gaslighting” or “tactical empathy”.


The library also has the captions under each video clip so you can read along. It’s important to hear, read and also watch important new skills, like how to avoid or defuse a Narcissist attack.


These 15 minute, morning livestreams help you deal with whatever problems come up during the day. When you feel frustrated or anxious, you can search for video clips that calm you down. If you need scripts that turn an argument to your advantage, you can search for topics like “tactical empathy”.

IF YOU TYPE IN YOUR EMAIL, WE’LL SEND YOU A PASSWORD THAT ACTS LIKE A LIBRARY CARD.

The password lets you access and search the library any time you want. As many times as you want. You can search it when you need more confidence handling a tense situation or listen to it when you need ways to emotionally detach without going numb.


"A friendly face and a relaxed voice calms you down and helps you get out safely."

You should get your library card and start exploring the Narcissist Recovery library. You deserve to feel calm, centered and creative again.

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